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Wellness isn't cute. It's a shitshow.
A brutally honest, hopefully laugh-out-loud account of one woman's chaotic journey through functional medicine and fringe health hacks. What worked, what didn't. No fluff, no filters, just the wild west of wellness, one experiment at a time.
If I haven't tried it myself, it's on my list. So stop wondering.
What this is
It's the shit I wish someone had told me.
I'm not a guru and I don't play nice. If your labs come back "normal" while you feel like a rage-filled dumpster fire, you're in the right place. You are not crazy. You are not alone.
I'm not writing this from the far side of fixed. I'm in it right now, same as you. I am running real experiments on a real body and reporting back: the wins, the face-plants, and how I (mis)managed it all. If you don't laugh, you'll cry. You can't make this shit up.
What you get
Part memoir, part wellness critique, part survival guide.
New articles and videos on lifting, gut health, sleep, perimenopause, hormones, and GLP-1s. Sex and (not) marriage after 40, disordered eating, and calling out the wellness-industry grift. (Plus some weird shit cuz I live on the edge: the enemas, the 71 bug bites, the 17 supplements I took and then forgot why.)
Not medical advice. Just lived experience from a no-nonsense, smart, bougie bitch who is not taking perimenopause lying down.